Be You

The closest people to me, in my life, are those who know me best. I keep them close. I trust and confide in them. (And when I say confide I do mean talk their ears off ;))  I love to be understood and accepted. I lean on friendships when I'm weak, to strengthen me and support my tired being. These are people who are invested in me and believe in my potential for greatness. These close companions uplift me! I'd say there is a bit of reliance on real friends. In the spiritual battle, I look for them, so that I am aware of where they are...I want them to know my location too because we're on the same side. We know we have to watch each other and remember we're in this together. We fight for and with each other. I trust and believe what they say because they speak to me with understanding of who I am and the ways I process their words. They are considerate. And with all that... they are still, all, very imperfect.

And that's where my greatest best friend, God, stands alone.

He is holy and good always, with no error, no confusion, he is pure, rich, immense, vast, Holy, and Love. 
He is love. ->God is love!!... And He is still my friend. 

God chooses me!

God chose me and you.

God created me. He made plans for my life, specifically. He cares for my inmost parts, thoughts, and happenings of my soul.

So this thought comes-> Why, in the world, do I come to God guarded & closed off?

I could spend 20 minutes in the morning or evening "in prayer," in communication with God- but all the while unwilling to be real...to open my heart completely, to tell him exactly what's going on. Yes, so there is this "time spent together." But its almost as awkward as going out to lunch with one of my best friends, as I described, and sitting there with them having meaningless "small talk" about the weather and the food on our plates when there are somethings or far greater importance to be shared. I just wouldn't do that! I wouldn't pick the shallow over the deep. I'd plunge right in and open up my heart to my friend. I'd confide! We'd converse. There'd be listening and laughing and sometimes tears of joy or sorrow or pain. And hopefully the two of us would walk away from our lunch date, better, edified, supported, and enlightened...

Now why is my relationship with God, on a daily basis, honestly, not surpassing the greatness of that encounter I just described having with a close friend at lunch???

Reality check: I am prone to sugar coat it with Jesus. Maan! Dang it. That truth sucks...

"I sugar coat my prayer life." -Grace Sullivan

Ouch. Who wants to confess that? Who wants to own that? But the reality here is that I do! I  so often live and pray like God can't take it... ya know, what I'm thinkin'. I act as if he doesn't already know my thoughts...


You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD. -Psalm 139:4

^ And there ya go, that belief is so wrong. Because he does know my thoughts. He knows everything about me better than I know about myself. He is so engaged with Grace Sullivan. He is so thoughtful of my living and thinking and speaking. He is so within me. He is surrounding and interceding for me, and ahead of me-beckoning and calling, behind me- reminding me to keep looking ahead, and he's beside me always, offering his hand to hold and companionship to grasp onto. He is the greatest friend.

So why do I come to Him bringing a shallow/closed off version of me and call it intimate "connection?"


Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. -Psalm 62:8

God is not going to punish my honesty or put down my vulnerability. Honesty is so much for my benefit, if you think about it. He already knows the truth. When I own up to my emotions and thought life and fears and concerns-I render myself to God's grace and revealing of truth, and ultimately, His CHANGE AND HEALING POWER. Honesty invites that in.

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. -1 Peter 5:6-7

Humility comes honestly. Humility will often hurt. But humility will heal us.

So God, let's talk...