May I Please Have Some...

COURAGE!

"...That is my request, sir."

Have you ever felt like you've finally worked up enough courage to ask for what you need?...

I often feel like I've got to get my "ducks in a row," before I can make a request to God Almighty.

Is it a truth-based feeling or a fear?

Am I tracking with this or am I missing a piece of the puzzle?

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"-Matthew 7:9-11

"Ask and it will be given to you."

If you don't ask, you may not receive. Simple, eh?

What do you need?

Grace! I need grace! I need help receiving forgiveness. I need courage. I need mercy in my moment by moment walk. I need to give more grace and love deeper. I need to hear from you. I need direction, assurance, and peace. I need favor in relationships. I need more of you, Jesus. I need a new quiet/secret place. I need refreshment. I need help trusting you. I need encouragement. I need help in loosening my grip and letting go of things.

Thank you, God! Thank you in advance!

In faith-

Canceling the Party

"PARTY IS OFF!"

"Ouch!" #$@!#%^& ... 

So is the complaining of my soul. ;)

For when the Spirit of God within me calls off the pity party of my flesh, my flesh tends to grumble. But grumbling can not put at bay the worship that must come forth from within me!!!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. -Philippians 4:6 

Ya see, a hefty byproduct of my uncertainties and unanswered questions is anxiety and complaint and moan & groan from my head and heart and mind. I tend to wrestle with that which I don't know the answers to. "I feel so uncomfortable." When this is so, it's quite easy to choose to be unhappy from within. But today I choose truth! Today I choose to rise above. Today I will cast off my anxiety and present my requests unto The Almighty God. For I've been granted access to The King with reason... So that I may honor him in my dependence and grow in intimacy with Him.

So King, You see my life and all it's parts. You see my wrongs, mistakes, stubbornness, pride, and self-reliance. You see my fear. May your love flood, and run it all out. Help me to come to you and receive your love. For I know it's what I need. 


Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. -1 John 4:18

Thank you for this day. Thank you for my life. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your love. I invite your love into the corners of my life it hasn't touched. Come on in... Even if as I pray this prayer, there are parts that still don't believe, help my believe. For the parts that still are not surrendered, loosen my grip. I know that I need all of you. I know that I don't want to go on with only partial experience of your perfect love. I know I want and need it all. All of you, Father! Help me through this...help me get there.

Grace

Truth Words

I see you. I know you, every part. And, yes, I love you. 

Forgiven.

Enough said for today.

Your Nearness

But for me it is good to be near God;
    I have made the Lord God my refuge,
    that I may tell of all your works. -Psalm 73:28

I want to be found with you.

I want to be found communing with you.

I want to be found talking with you and laughing with you and listening to you.

I want to be found growing with you.

I want to be found resting with you.

I want to be found with my Father.

I want to be like you.

I want to speak and act like you do.

I want my heart and intentions to be like yours.

I want to love like you do.

I want to see things and people the way you do.

Open these eyes a little wider!

Help me to come into the light...into your light.

Help me to choose you.

Help me to run to you.

Help me to receive you and all your love.

Oh, I need you, my King.

I really really need you all your nearness.

You Are Welcome Here

Today my eyes were opened to truth. Thank God! I need the truth in my life!!!...

As I sat in an evening class at school tonight, frustrated and caught in the hurry of the week before my final exam, I was anxious. Doesn't anxiety bring out the worst in us? In that moment Holy Spirit spoke to me...

I sit in the front row and I was glancing over at the door as we waited for class to begin. Students were walking in and taking their seats. We were about to begin a short quiz. I'd been working on a project all day, skipping meals like nobodies business...(and I don't skip meals lol, scary) And right then, I feel the God impress a picture on my heart. He always catches me when I least expect ;)

He began to give me a visualization of the way I walk with Him when I want to and sometimes I decide to walk alone. When I walk with Him, I am fruitful. There is evidence I am in a constant communion with The Creator. He is love and I am spending time with him...I love that! It's beautiful, right? ...Well, there are also times that I leave Him standing at the door and I walk into an atmosphere with no regard for anyone but myself. In this flesh-lead walk I hurt people, I hurt myself, and I hurt Him.

God, I'm sorry! I want to search for you each day and PRAISE you! 

God gave me a beautiful illustration tonight. He did not just convict me but he corrected me in love and showed me one of His truths!

But you are holy, O you that inhabit the praises of Israel. -Psalm 23:3

When I praise God and shift my eyes and affections towards Him, I invite His presence into my life. Praise and adoration towards God is like saying, "YOU are welcome here!" "Come! Be with me!!!" And when I'm with Jesus, everything's better.

Have Your Way

It's one of those nights where my eyes are widened to the truth in love that your ways are higher, better, wiser, stronger, and far beyond-greater than mine. Please soften me for molding, for I need to take shape in your hands, Potter. That's my prayer.

24 Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25 Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. -John 12

So encouraged by the word to let loose my life- into your hands!

I release!!!

Grace

Attentive Master

If I had cherished sin in my heart,
    the Lord would not have listened;
but God has surely listened
    and has heard my prayer.
-Psalm 66:18-19

"I'm listening."

What a beautiful truth.

I need to be heard!!! It's a true desire. It's a true desire of my heart!

Thank you for listening, God.

My prayer tonight is this:

Help me to walk in step with you! Help me to move onward in strength. Help me to be found overflowing with YOU. 

Thank you for listening and responding. Make me more like you.

Me

Twitter Lesson

I enjoy Twitter. Of all the social networks, I like it most. Why? ... Many reasons.

1. It's not as time consuming.

2. Easy access to wisdom, quotes, and insight/knowledge from those you wish to find it from.

3. Simplicity.

Those are a few reasons. 

Tonight as I drove in my car, God and I talked. I loved it. He speaks in clarity. He gives me pictures. And tonight He gave me this:

When I hold hands with him, it's easier to follow Him. Like, it's more natural; with ease. We are walking together. "In step." 

vs.

When I let go of his hand, allowing distance to grow between the two of us, it becomes more difficult for me to follow his lead. Why? There is a disconnect. He is beckoning and I may not even realize (if the distance is greater.) He is ushering me, directing, teaching, as He does, and I miss out, miss it, or just walk away. 

When I keep in step with the Lord, the following is not a chore, it's like a byproduct of our intimacy or "togetherness."

So twitter connection...?

I only follow the people I am close with.

#silly

Goodnight. ;) 

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. NIV

Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit's leading in every part of our lives. NLT

-Galatians 5:25

A Place For My Soul

I am in right standing with God, not because I'm good and perfect but because He is. Tonight I find refuge in God's love. I find comfort in His abounding love and mercy. For I am in need and YOU, God keep feeding me and clothing me and giving me rest. Help me know that I am your child. Help me live like I am your child. Not a stranger. Not a guest. But a child in your house. 

1 Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy!

    I look to you for protection.

I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings

    until the danger passes by.

2 I cry out to God Most High,

    to God who will fulfill his purpose for me.

3 He will send help from heaven to rescue me,

    disgracing those who hound me. Interlude

My God will send forth his unfailing love and faithfulness.

4 I am surrounded by fierce lions

    who greedily devour human prey—

whose teeth pierce like spears and arrows,

    and whose tongues cut like swords.

5 Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens!

    May your glory shine over all the earth.

6 My enemies have set a trap for me.

    I am weary from distress.

They have dug a deep pit in my path,

    but they themselves have fallen into it. Interlude

7 My heart is confident in you, O God;

    my heart is confident.

    No wonder I can sing your praises!

8 Wake up, my heart!

    Wake up, O lyre and harp!

    I will wake the dawn with my song.

9 I will thank you, Lord, among all the people.

    I will sing your praises among the nations.

10 For your unfailing love is as high as the heavens.

    Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.

11 Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens.

    May your glory shine over all the earth.

I am learning that my home is with you. Wherever you go, I want to follow and I want you to help me want to follow and search especially when my flesh does not agree. I want to believe you love me the way you honestly and truly do- always. Help me not to conduct a show or a game with a merit system set for self,  for your grace abounds beyond my rights and wrongs, shining moments and ugly ones. You are good. And I need you. You are my strength. You are my strength. I'll rest here.

Grace

He Speaks

"I have you."

O, to hear the truth...

It is well.

Grace

Drink

“Come, all you who are thirsty,

    come to the waters;

and you who have no money,

    come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk

    without money and without cost.

2 Why spend money on what is not bread,

    and your labor on what does not satisfy?

Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,

    and you will delight in the richest of fare. -Isaiah 55:1-2

Give ear and come to me;

    listen, that you may live.

Jesus!?

If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people."
The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." -Exodus 33:13-14

I am stealing this conversation tonight. Well not stealing, but I am inspired by this one between Moses and GOD. Why? Because my heart leaps and hollers, "ditto!!!!!!" to Moses' prayer.

I need you, Jesus. And I'm reminded tonight. I am reminded that its good to converse with you. I am reminded by the intimacy of Moses' conversation with you, that you are available for conversation. You are available for intimacy. You are available for friendship. And you want it with me.

Signing out- brief tonight but loving this truth,

Grace

Surrender

Putting aside mine for yours.

Bowing down instead of puffing up tall.

Resting in grace instead of striving in an act of "perfectionism."

Walking away instead of begging to stay.

Opening my hand instead of clenching my fist or hiding what's not mine to hold onto.

Looking into your eyes instead of looking to the clock and attempting to keep you on my schedule.

Prayer.

Slowing down.

These are the ways of a humble man.

Make me humble.

Make me endure.

I want to be with you in meekness, instead of on my own in selfishness.

God! I NEED YOU!


But the meek will inherit the land
    and enjoy peace and prosperity.
The wicked plot against the righteous
    and gnash their teeth at them;
but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
    for he knows their day is coming. -Psalm 37

(Steady your feet on my way. For I shine a light for truth in your life.)

Help me to walk in a way which is pleasing unto you, in word and deed and in my meditations. Help me not to react to people around me but to live in accordance to your lead, in meekness, in reverence, in surrender. 

Needing your guidance,
Grace

Today and Everyday Life

Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths,
And my age is as nothing before You;
Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor. Selah -Psalm 39:5

Life is short, on earth, at least. Am I believing that truth? Do I live like I am invisible with forever at hand? My time here is short, whether I feel it is or not. I must make it count. I must live on purpose.

What's that look like? What's that feel like? What's that cost or take of me? ...

Psalm 139:

13 For you created my inmost being;

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you

    when I was made in the secret place,

    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;

    all the days ordained for me were written in your book

    before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!

    How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,

    they would outnumber the grains of sand—

    when I awake, I am still with you.

What if I woke up each day and looked to you, believing you have somethings planned, somethings in store; gifts, opportunities, moments...And I looked for you and I seized all truth and I applied knowledge, and I humbled myself, and found life in great measure...

Go child!

Grace

Dignity

Freedom from affectation or embarrassment; composure. 

Hm... That's one of the definitions of the word poise.

And poise falls into the definitions of dignity.


She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,..

Those lines come from Proverbs 31...the "oh-so-referenced" Proverbs 31. ;) We hear much about this piece of scripture, as Christian woman. It's often quoted, preached, and referenced in conversations... Sometimes, so much that, all I can think of is "A Proverbs 31 Woman," but I can't fully recall who that woman is. I just remember "she's got it going on," or somethin', but why?!??

This piece of the scripture, above, pops out at me first, probably because the other verses involve her actions within her family as a wife and mother and I am not at that place in my life. This part is a bit more general to me. So...am I following the example she sets?...

Do I wake up each day and dress myself in strength?

Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. -Colossians 3:14

Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh. -Romans 13:13-14

What if I woke up each day, routinely, and clothed myself with love? With Christ? Like, never forgot to, never had an excuse not to, like, it became an absolute must in my daily routine. What if I believed "I must clothe myself with love before I can step foot outside my bedroom, let alone, my home." 'Cause I mean, isn't that how valuable the priority of dressing self in physical clothing is? (Unless you live in a nudist colony, which I do not, for the record.) :)

Like a great outfit, being dressed in this Godly dignity brings a confidence. But I am convinced that a confidence found in Christ is stronger and lasting. This is a trust in my Anchor's strength, not necessarily my own. Doesn't it root from a reliance on Him-from trusting in His ability?

This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. Jesus has already gone in there for us. He has become our eternal High Priest in the order of Melchizedek. -Hebrews 6:19

I want my reliance to be in you, Christ. I want to pray, believing that you intercede on my behalf. I want to live like I believe, clothed in strength and dignity, without a worry about what's to come, and with wisdom on my tongue. Help me to rely on you. Help me to remember you are where my help comes from-daily. Help me remember to clothe myself in you and value that covering for all its worth. Thank you Jesus for making yourself so known and offering yourself to me. I NEED YOU!

Grace

He Knocks

Friendships seems to be separated into phases, to me. As you get to know someone more and more, the relationship changes and evolves. Isn't that the truth? Both people involved usually begin to open up more and more and conversation topics become more intimate between close chums. It's a process. You can't really pretend to be close. Closeness comes about from experience and investments of time and attention.

Relationships. What a gift from God, eh?

Close friendships are my favorite. Even though the excitement of the "new" stage is cool and fun and appreciated... It's the deep and "meaty" ones that I'm all for. I just love the near and dears. I usually have just a handful of those. ...They're hard to find, ya know. Not that you just go stumbling upon them. But it is almost like they're these sweet treasures entrusted to us.

What do I love most about the deep friendships? Well I love the security. I love the off-guard-ness. I love being me and having no care in the world because I know ME is embraced in the surrounding of my "best friend."

Me and Jesus. How can I describe this relationship? Is it uptight? Uncomfortable? Pressured? Insecure? Is it inviting-from both sides?

Let me tell you about my dearest friend... There is a certain gentleness he holds, always. He is tender and aware of my needs and desires, both right and wrong desires. And He cares for me, regardless, whether I am in the right or not. He is bold though. He is unafraid and unashamed, always. He is secure. He is so safe. He is so strong. I need Him. I need Him all the time. And whether I recognize it or not, he is patient. He desires for me to spend time but He is patient when I look elsewhere for intimacy. He is the best friend for me. And I want to be closer to Him.

Jesus doesn't let me rest on my excuses. He is full of wisdom and the best leader. And still I have noticed something today-He is ever-patient.

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. -Revelation 3:19-20

Yes, He is my King, THE KING! And Yes, He knocks. Although I've experienced His persistent and steady pursuit of my worship, I have yet to find him barge or kick down the door of my heart. He is patient, even when I am slow to acknowledge, slow to respond, and slow to invite Him in.

Thank you Jesus. Help! Quicken this heart of mine to respond every time to your knocking. 

Goodnight

Grace

Examining

Today I sat with a friend and we talked a lot.  We usually do that together (talk a lot). It's few and far between that we actually get opportunity to spend time together but when we do it is always a perfect time. What a gift she is to me! What a great listener she is too. She is graceful, patient, forgiving and kind. I took note of this today.

I am so lifted up by her example. I am challenged and encouraged by her consistency.

This sweet friend reminds me that it is never time to pack up shop and decide you quit learning in life. There is so much to know! There is so much room to grow. And God has so much to offer. Unlimited.

To be a seeker of the truth you, sometimes, must dig and probe and push and tear through, and examine.

Today God had me thinkin'- how often do I spend time just to get to know Him and learn His heart a little more? Do I come often to spend quality time or do I pop in from time to time, real quick, for an answer or a token of wisdom. "Hey God, what should I do here? What's best?.. Ok, great, thanks for the advice. Talk to ya later!"

If I want to know you more, I must slow down to hear that you desire quality time.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. -Deuteronomy 65

Word

The Word of God...

That's what's on the topic table this evening.

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, -2 Timothy 3:16


Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. -Psalm 119:105

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God

The same was in the beginning with God.

All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

In him was life; and the life was the light of men. -John 1 

The Word is all-powerful! The Word of is available. The Word has it out to transform your life. The Word is much more than words on a page. The Word is grounding; solid rock. The Word is a step stool to see above human reason and into depths of wisdom and insight. The Word is a treasure to me.

Thank you God for THE WORD!

Strength

Where do you get it?

Physical-the gym? Mental-caffeine? Personality-compliments? State of mind- comparing self to others?...

These boosts may last for a moment, but ultimately, they all fade.

Where does strength lie? Where can I draw from without concern of supply running dry?...

I am thankful for the River of Life. I am grateful to live in communion with the Spirit of God Almighty. HE IS ALL STRONG!


I will give You thanks with all my heart;
  I will sing praises to You before the gods.

I will bow down toward Your holy temple
  And give thanks to Your name for Your lovingkindness and Your truth;
  For You have magnified Your word according to all Your name.

On the day I called, You answered me;
  You made me bold with strength in my soul.

The other sources named and unnamed have no comparison to the strength of Almighty God. And all we have to do is call.

JESUS!!!!!!

Grace

Closer

You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud
    but shows favor to the humble.”

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

"Submit yourselves, then, to God."

"to put in order under"

The Amplified version translates, "be subject to God..."

The New Living says, "So humble yourselves before God."

And then it goes on... "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you."


To submit, to yield, to give up, to bend ones will to another... aren't these so necessary when drawing close to Almighty God. When I consider my relationships with others; my parents or friends or siblings, I realize that in order to draw close to people, I have to come into right standing with them. It's the reconciliation, apologies, forgiveness, kindness, confessions, honesty...all these things seem to remove the stand-off-ish-blockading stone wall from between us and bring us closer. Then, we can communicate! We can thrive and live with each other. We grow and laugh and adventure and learn and love together. So what about with God? How do I get closer to God? How do I yield to Him?

Realize love.


Long ago the Lord said to Israel:
“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.
    With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself. -Jeremiah 31:3 NLT

My love toward you does not run dry. 

Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; for the Lord your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and his anger will burn against you, and he will destroy you from the face of the land. -Deuteronomy 6:14-15

God is for me. God is calling me. He is inviting me to be close to Him. And His promise is that when I come closer, He, too will draw close to me. He will never put to shame those who trust in Him. Never. He knows and sees it all. He is mighty to save, slow to anger, abounding in love and patience. He is for me!

I want to be found knowing you intimately because every step I take is another step closer to you. Help me to look to you, call to you and run to you. Remove all that keeps me from you! Help me to realize and live out my part and also to recognize when its time to receive.

I want to be closer to you, Jesus.

Grace

Do you waver?

A little slice of James chapter 1:

...If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

To doubt is to hesitate or to waver.

I've been meditating on this scripture today. I've been thinking about whether or not I am prone to waver. Confession: I am. It's the truth.

I tend to go back and forth (see, wavering!->right there!) on decisions. It's in a lot of things that seem irrelevant in life. Like- what I want to eat or whether or not I will take a long drive to attend a certain event or not, or even what I want to wear, or whether or not I will wash my hair that day. Sounds weird, but it's the truth. I'll go back and forth in my head and think through each choice. I'll even decide on one...and within a few minutes I might change my mind and switch to the other choice. Hm...

So I tend to waiver on the regular when it comes to small stuff...but what about everything else?

As I thought this over today I began to realize something. Often times, when I am thinking about what I am going to do... how I am going to walk my faith out...I think through my options and a decision is made based on which option I can see all the way through. Which option do I know the outcome of? Which option seems possible? Which option is do-able?... Is that faith at all?...

This got me thinking. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do NOT see...


And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. -Hebrews 11:6

Is my "faith" based on sight?

For we live by faith and not by site -2 Corinthians 5:7

The two seem to be contrasting...

One is belief and the other is appearance.

One is relying on God and the other is relying on self.

Father forgive me for my lack of faith in decision making. I want to trust you. I want to believe you.

I am thankful that I serve a gracious God. I need help in this area. I do not want to be an unstable person. I want to be found on the rock, relying, trusting, believing. And truly living the faith-walk...not just talking the faith-talk. Sounds a little funny, but seriously.

Signing out,

Grace

The God of (Even Small) Details

At times in the Bible, we read God giving detailed instructions to His people. Reading over Exodus 12 and the "Passover" instructions, I'm taken back a bit by the detail God goes into.

This is how you are to eat it: with your cloak tucked into your belt, your sandals on your feet and your staff in your hand. Eat it in haste; it is the Lord’s Passover. -Exodus 12:11

But then I am reminded that I serve a detailed God. 

When you think about people you hold close relationships with, what comes to mind? When I think of my dearest and nearest of companions or my family members, I think about these individual's details, characteristics, mannerisms, habits, and ways that are so unique to each one of them. There are things about each of these people that distinguishes them greatly from the next. And if I were to describe each one to you, you'd hear that right away. They all have intricate detail. They have "their way." They are set apart and they are different from each other.

Hm, And God...

What about Almighty Jesus?

He is different! I hear him whisper over me heart this evening, "I'm different. I'm set apart. I'm your friend. I care deeply. I see and know your inmost and love you still. I am pursuing you. I am involved. I am your friend."

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. -Proverbs 18:24

WOAH! What kind of detail do you pay attention to in my life, Lord? You are so different from the rest. You are so aware and all-knowing and wise. Do you care about the small attitudes and under-my-breath/unspoken fits of rage and frustration? Do you care about a moment I can choose to love or stick up for or defend the weakest person in the room?....And do you hurt when I choose to stay silent? Do you listen to my weakest cry for help, when I am not feeling like a spiritual warrior woman? (ha!) Do you know my favorite this or that? Do you see through my cover and past my excuses and look right straight at the motive of my impurities and heart? O, God! I believe you are more active then I credit you for. Wow. Forgive me.

Search me, God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

    and lead me in the way everlasting. -Psalm 139:24

Lead me in the way everlasting! Soften my heart that I will follow, that i will go with you! I want to walk in immediate obedience.

Grace

Hide & Seek

If you make the Most High your dwelling- even the Lord, who is my refuge, then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. -Psalm 91:9-10

This dwelling place is a refuge or a hiding place.

Where do you hide when you've messed up?

Where do you go when you're embarrassed or shamed?

Where do you run when you're uncertain or confused?

Who do you call when the floor falls from beneath you, when all feels unreliable?

Who do you call when you've failed?

Who do you look to when you are in need of something greater than you've got?


The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe. -Psalm 18:10

O our God, will You not judge them? For we are powerless before this great multitude who are coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on You.” 2 Chronicles 20

He said: "Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. -2 Chronicles 20

Some battles are for me to run to you and watch you deliver me. This, I am learning. Help me to humbly believe and run to you and trust that being still in you is my place, as you fight and conquer. I am sorry for trying to take the lead when all you've asked of me is that I surrender to you. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for teaching, Jesus. So I look to you, tonight, stationed in a stance of reliance. Help me to believe in you!

You need not fight in this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.’ -2 Chronicles 20

Believe

To believe. What's that mean?

To believe is to entrust.

Entrust is to give responsibility to someone else to do something. 

It's to deliver something into someone else's protection and care.

Who do I believe in?

Who do I entrust my thoughts and cares to on a daily basis?

...

I think so much. 

I am a "thinker," as some might say. 

I think about what I should do, when I should do it, how I should do it, what I should say, when I should say it, how I should say it, how others will feel and receive what I say. I think about how I should dress and present myself for daily events. I think about what people will think about how I dress and present myself. I think about what other people might be thinking about when they're with me and after they've been around me. I think about the past in reflection, I think about the future in wonder. I think about and envision different circumstances and outcomes. I think about the worst circumstances and the best possibilities and THEN I think about how I'd feel if either happened. WEIRD. Weird, I tell ya...the amount of thinking I do is... HUGE! ALL THE TIME! 

I AM A THINKER! It's official.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. -1Peter 5:7

It's easy for a thinker, like me, to worry. There's so many unknowns in thinking. And with unknowns, I can either default to uneasiness/worry/anxiety/fear. OR I can believe. I can choose to entrust the unknowns to my Heavenly Father. I can choose to believe:

In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. -Proverbs 16:9

I can choose to believe that God has the final say. That when I offer myself and my will to him, when I surrender, He is faithful and just and will direct my pathways. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not trust in your own understanding. 6 Agree with Him in all your ways, and He will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6 (New Life Translation)

The Almighty Creator of the heavens and the earth has a way with my path. He can intervene, interject, change my direction, throw me for a loop, change my pace, set me up for a divine appointment. He can bless me along the way, he can discipline and lead me to repentance. God is involved in my life! Why? Because I asked him to be! I surrendered my life to Him. I told Him I didn't want to be the Lord of my own life. I entrusted my life to God. I believe God's ways are better and best. I need Him. And so when it comes to my thinking and when it comes to unknowns, I, first, must recall- my Maker. I must remember that I do not walk alone. He leads me. (Remember Psalm 23!) He's there by the still waters and in the presence of my enemies! He is not just involved when it's green grasses. He is just as involved in the valley of the shadow of death...so I need not be afraid or worrisome. He is with me. 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9 NIV

I am so grateful for truth. And I choose to stand upon the Word of God today. 

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. -Psalm 119:105

I believe you, God. I entrust my emotions and my feelings to you as I take a sturdy stand upon your Word.

Thankful for truth that sets the prisoners free and releases me from all binding/fearful thoughts.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. -John 4:18


So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God's Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, "Abba, Father." -Romans 8:15

Grace

Rest

REST. It's necessary. I can't say much more, until I've rested.

And that's ok.

It's important to walk in understanding that rest is not for the weak. Rest is for us all. Rest is a completely necessary gift.

I've got more to say... but not tonight.

And that's ok.

Goodnight.

GS

Plain Simple Free(ing) Truth

“If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."-Jesus

Today, I sat in the mechanic's waiting room for about an hour. It was the start to my day and I brought my lap top, only to find no internet connection in the shop. But I did make use of a Word document and began to take notes from the Bible App on my phone... Most people would probably just do both the reading and the note-taking on the phone, but I like my notes to be big, I guess. And my phone has about zero space for anything else to be stored on it. But that's beside the point...

As I read God's word and typed scriptures and tuned into the Holy Spirit, I remembered how beautiful this is. Truth. Meditating on truth...thinking about it, speaking it, writing it, reading it, cross referencing it; studying. It's a beautiful act. It IS freeing! It's as if the truth carefully unbinds all the half truths and lies and falsehood from our wrists and throats and ankles, and allows us to reach, and breath, and move forward again, so freely.

Here's a piece from my time this morning:


Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips

Father, addict me to the love and truth of your Word. Let the hunger be un-ignorable. I want to taste and see that you are good numerous times a day, that I would remain in your freedom and claim what is mine, according to your truth, The Word. I invite you to speak to me, beckon me, and push me to go beyond where I've gone before in the realm of stewarding your word.

Grace

Here I Am

When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!”

And Moses said, “Here I am.”

-Exodus 3

Marco!...

Polo!...

Marco!...

Polo!...

Just the other day I found myself on one of those "skyline" rides at an amusement park. You know they glide through the sky on some sort of suspension system...It's great fun really! And it's a chill break from all the walking and heat of an outdoor park. This time, as I rode, I found the usual...  Without fail, the people passing by, in opposite flight,  shouting-out pure random-ness. I mean people must think to themselves while they're up there soaring through the sky, "What are the odds I'll see that stranger again, right?" 

This time around, I got the classic, they yell- "Marco..." ...Wait for it...Wait for it... I yell "Polo!" Only it didn't happen just once. Cart by cart, kids yelled my way, "Marco!" And waited for my response. The first one got nothing, but then I caught on... 4...5...6...

Ya just gotta interact and play along, people! That's my philosophy here. ;) 

It's such a simple concept... Marco-Polo!...I've been playing it for as long as I can remember, in swimming pools, lakes, and oceans... I never did like to be the one to yell "Marco!" That role meant I had to keep my eyes closed, scary. 

As children, we master the concept of responding when someone calls our name. In fact, I have imprinted in my brain the sound of my mother, father, brother and sister's voice, and the way they call out to me. I know exactly what they sound like. I recognize, immediately, the way they say my name. It's so familiar. It's so automatic. 

What about with GOD? 

Some time later, God tested Abraham's faith. "Abraham!"

 God called. "Yes," he replied. "Here I am." -Genesis 22

How's my response time with God? Like when He calls to me... Do I recognize and tune into his voice? Do I call back or pretend I didn't hear his knock on my heart and soul's door. Does he want time to talk? bless? challenge? teach? push? move? change? heal? deliver? promote? assign? take over? give rest? sing over me? just be together? ... I'll never know why He calls me, if I don't respond. The kind of relationship Moses and Abraham's "Here I am" response demonstrates to me is a ready and eager attitude towards the Almighty God who finds man worth calling upon. Wow.

I want to stop and listen to you God. I want to want to hear what is on your mind. Help me to be responsive to your Spirit's and your call. Help my heart's attitude to be, "Here I am."

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. -John 10:27

Grace

This Calls For Effort

Effort is important. Vital.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.

Although our salvation is not earned, just like other things that are vital, our relationship with God and the walking out of the great commission and being a disciple of Christ- requires effort. Grace is freely given, yes, but does it not take effort to be disciplined? Does is just come over night or with a nice little prayer and bowing of the head? Yes, the prayer helps, but I am convinced effort must be put forth in order to progress in any relationship. You must care enough to try, to give, to listen, to obey, to move forward, to move at all... to walk this salvation out...to put deeds with faith. We must train! 

Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

Another version says, "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training." Training. What kind of training are we talking about here? What kind of training does a life unto Jesus Christ call for?

It is vital to learn from those who have gone before us. We do have this "great cloud of witnesses"... these "heroes of the faith..."

 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1

As I read through Hebrews 11, it's quickly made clear that those who walk in faith, do not lean on what is seen, but what is unseen. They trusted God and believe Him when He spoke.

Do I?

Father, increase my faith! I want to follow your lead. I want to pray prayers of faith and walk steps in faith, and see you before I see problems or obstacles. I want to fixate these eyes on truth, consume truth, and walk by truth. I want to be found living in the light, living life, and giving life, and speaking life, and praying life into that which is dark and dead and fading. God, I draw near to you tonight with these requests... THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE! Thank you for the many testimonies and answered prayers that were prayed in faith. Thank you for the rewards and blessings that come in faith. Do not let me shy away from faith because of the difficulties and uncertainties I've experienced. I do not want to be held back. I want to train, I want to move in purpose, I want to run! (to you.) 

I've decided this week's blog posts will be dedicated to remembering what the Lord has done because sometimes you pull out the old "before and after" shots to get yourself back into the gym to train, and just like that, sometimes you must pull out the testimonies of God and remember how to believe and trust again!

Here we go, it's time!

Grace

Almost Forgot

Today was a rest day...a much needed rest day. Come to think of it, I suppose that the rest day is much needed each week, right? So let's just say, this week I really really felt that need, from head to toe! Whew. I've just waken up from one of those naps that turns into an almost-full night of sleep. It's the middle of the night and I've already slept seven hours. I'm definitely not done sleeping yet but as I woke up to remove my make-up and change, I thought about today and realized I haven't checked in to my blog! I've been thinking about this blog recently. I've been thinking about how sometimes I do treat it as if no one will read the post, but me. And although that thought doesn't bother me whatsoever, it sometimes is what keeps me from going a bit deeper in detail with posts. Assuming I'm already full aware of my own deep thoughts or emotion, I can often just leave it out. I'd like to change that a bit... I'm thinking of ways to improve that, even if it be for just a few or for many. The reader deserves the effort. So tonight's inside scoop, as to why I'm blogging at this strange hour of he morning, may just be the beginning to a closer look at my today. ;)

This 60 day run of blogging everyday has been off the ground now for a couple of weeks, but I'm coming to realize I didn't theme this run. Last time was based out of Philippians 4 and mindset. This time, so far, I've just been putting down basically what I'm learning. I might want to refine that a bit...

The other night, I talked with my dear friend about Jesus being referred to as, "Teacher." I love that He is the Ultimate Teacher. I love this part of his character.

"Jesus spoke the true and authoritative words of God." 


Matthew 5:
And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, 
his disciples came unto him:
And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.


Jesus is well-aware of the trials, emotions, mindsets, and state of beings of people, of us!

Lord, help me to invite your teaching voice into my present. May I not hold off on prayer until I feel like I'm in a good place to come before you, "embraceable." May I embrace that nothing is too difficult for you. May I embrace that you desire involvement and relationship with me. No emotion, no struggle, no state-of-being too far off, difficult, complex, confusing for Jesus. May I come into your presence, where you shine light on falsehood, and I can pick up truth and run to you. If it takes me crawling, barely making it, help me to come to you. I need you. 

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." - Matthew 11:28-29

^I think we've found a new "theme verse."

Listening and learning, spending time with my Teacher,

love Grace :)

Careful, Words Are Strong

The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;

    they go down to the inmost parts.

Words are strong.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.

How easy it can be for me to speak without, first, thinking or praying.

It takes no effort at all.

I just let it spout off and out like a running faucet.

A lot of times it's like less like a faucet and more like a raging river, equipped to offend and to  hurt the ears and souls that receive or retrieve the message.

A gossip betrays a confidence;

    so avoid anyone who talks too much.

May I speak words of life and meaning and substance.

May my words point to you. And may I walk in awareness and reverence to your presence when I speak.

Many claim to have unfailing love,

    but a faithful person who can find?

May I stop boasting, attempting to self-promote, or looking for people to assert me in who I should be in you, Christ.

May I listen first, then speak and act. May I speak with intent and God-purpose. May I speak truth.

Grace